On Perseverance.
When it comes to changing lifestyle habits, I am struck by how many rounds of trial and error it can take to incorporate a positive new routine into our lives. This holds true for an exercise routine, a healthier way of eating, a more conscious use of social media, productive work habits, or the adoption of a relaxation practice. “This is the day!”, we tell ourselves, and we begin with an incredible feeling of motivation and a strong sense of iron-will. This is usually because we control the environment beautifully to start – for example if it is healthy eating we are trying for, then we prep our meals aesthetically, and enthusiastically relish the taste. It is also quite fun and empowering to say “No thanks!” to things that do not form part of our plan. “We’ve totally got this!” we tell ourselves. We feel in control and proud of our efforts, and feel like the weight will just drop off or the energy will just come zinging back. This lasts for a few days, but then the external environment begins to exert its pressure on our very best intentions. We run out of time to prep the meal, or forget it at home, or in our semi-starved state we say “Yes!” to the chocolate croissant. And that’s us – we’ve fallen off the wagon.
But do we have to lay sobbing by the roadside, waiting indefinitely for the next wagon to pass? What if that takes weeks, months, or even years? What about jumping up, dusting ourselves off, chasing after the wagon, and hopping straight back on? It will still arrive at its destination on time, and because you didn’t give up – you will arrive with it. When we have interrupted our streak or we have ruined our perfect score, we give up way too easily. What follows are a few days or worse still, weeks of the original bad habits, which take us right back to the starting point. It requires huge energy to catch or kick-start a whole new wagon again. It can be exhausting to have an all or nothing approach, especially in the beginning, when you are trying to entrench your new positive habit into your life. Slip ups and regressions are normal – we are human beings, not robots. We just need to learn to catch the slip up at falling off phase, and not allow the dust and desolation of the empty roadside to consume us.
We design our days, and the quality of our lives are a result of the accumulation of how we choose to spend them. If good habits are a part of our days, then those are the results and rewards we will reap in our lives, over and over again.
Whenever you choose to be kind to your body, it will thank you with a feedback loop that makes you feel better, to show its gratitude for the respectful treatment. Give it a good night of sleep, and it will give you more energy and calmness the following day. Give it a break from the booze for a week, and it will reward you with clarity and vigour. Give it 24 hours of whole, healthy food, and the following day you will feel lighter and more energized. Give it a training session of your choice and you will feel stronger and happier, and maybe even pleasantly fatigued as a result of your efforts.
One poor meal does not have to translate to the whole day being written off. One drink does not need to turn into many, and one skipped training day does not mean that the rest of the week’s training does not happen. The less you regress, the easier it is to do the picking up, dusting off and jumping back on. It is no-one else’s responsibility to do it for you. Others have their hands full already, with trying to stay on their own wagon. You be good to yourself, and stay on yours, for as many of the days of your life as you can. In time you will be less concerned with staying on, because it will come naturally with practice and perseverance, and you will be more focused on the scenery, and on enjoying the ride.