December: Positively Present.
The present is all that tangibly exists. The past, though it happened and impacted us, is gone forever. We can look back on it, but we cannot change it. The future is something to look towards, and certainly to plan for, but it has not arrived yet. This moment is what we have, and when that has passed, we have the next moment, and the next.
The poet William Meredith observed that the worst that can be said of a man is that “he did not pay attention.”
Choose to Pay Attention. Do not mindlessly miss out… on the moment, or on an opportunity, or on easy joy and contentment, or on a situation that you would like to remove yourself from. We control our attention, and who, or what, we give it to. Guard your attention, and give it wisely, in a way that benefits you and others. Be present for your moments. If you are continually past-analysing or future-focusing, your precious moments may flurry past.
Try this: Take stock, at this moment.
Breathe. Focus on your breaths in and out. Slow them down. Notice your thoughts start to calm and simplify a bit. (Try square breathing: Slowly in for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, slowly out for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds.)
Look around, and be present – try to notice things in your surroundings that you would usually not take note of.
Check in with how you feel, and spend some time feeling your current emotion. Happy? Sad? Irritable? Concerned? Why? Recognizing the source of your feelings can help you manage and understand them. Sometimes just understanding their source allows you to move on, and feel slightly differently.
What are you grateful for, now? There are always some things that are going well, no matter what challenges you may be facing. Acknowledging these can help you with some perspective.
What can you do, now, in the present, that would be good for you? Is it movement? Is it something healthy to eat? Is it smiling, at someone else, or just for yourself? A put-off phonecall? A procrastinated chore? A small positive habit that will add up to something powerful in your future?
Proceed, present-focused. Enjoy the shift in positivity that this way of thinking brings to your day.
Being positive is an excellent way to bring power to your present moments. Too many of us take on a negative attitude as a result of the people we choose to listen to, the news we choose to watch, and the social media we choose to scroll through. Being realistic is important, but things are never all negative. Our confirmation bias results in us finding more of what we look for. If we have decided, for example, that our country is going down the tubes, then when we drive to a destination all we will notice is the poor driving of others, the potholes in the road, the beggars at the traffic lights, and the negative news on the radio. We arrive at our destination deflated, and unnecessarily heavy, and out of habit use this to fuel and fill in conversations.
If we decided, differently, that our country does have challenges but that there are definite opportunities and possibilities, we will notice different things on that same drive that we ignored before – the taxi driver saying thank you when we let him in, the potholes from last week that have been fixed already, the new building going up on the corner, the smiling man helping to direct the traffic, the thriving road-side businesses that sell produce to the commuters. In this frame of mind, we are even more open to noticing the sun shining. Imagine arriving at your destination and sharing the positives (because there are always some) that you bothered to identify on the way as part of your conversation. Perhaps you will unintentionally uplift others, and perhaps they will also look differently on their drive home. Negative conversations weigh us down, and we often use content from those to fuel other conversations. Positive conversations lift us up, and can work some magic out there, as the good content is refreshingly transferred from person to person.
Professor Barbara Fredrickson, in her inspiring book titled “Positivity: Discover the Upward Spiral That Will Change Your Life” identifies 10 forms of positivity, and each of these offer us a multitude of ways to enjoy the moment.
1. Joy – at seeing someone we love, or in doing something we love.
2. Gratitude – for what we have, and for what we can give.
3. Serenity – contentedness and calmness – a feeling of peace.
4. Interest – energy inducing information and learning.
5. Hope – uplifting belief in positive potential outcomes.
6. Pride – a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction.
7. Amusement – a feeling of lightness, humor and entertainment.
8. Inspiration – the power of possibility.
9. Awe – wonder and appreciation.
10. Love – warmth and sharing.
We can all find ways to incorporate these ten emotions into our days, and our lives. They will help us to balance out the negatives, and revel in the positives. It takes effort, but is well worth the reward.
Power up your present with more positivity, and choose to begin your own upward spiral.